Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Keepin it Reals...

Well, today has been shit.  I was working on a huge project from 8-5 and it's still not done.  What I thought was going to be super easy is now taking FOR-EV-ER (said just like Squints from Sandlot).  I left work early to go to my follow-up Dentist appointment since I chipped a tooth eating a tootsie pop but didn't make that because of the ever-reliable underground was delayed.  This is the second time it has taken me 3 hours to get home.  If I ever hear of these TFL workers wanting to strike - I will have a few words for them.  So, as you can tell today is going swell and I would like to bitch about it.

Work has been crazy and my blog is suffering because of it.  Lately the thought of blogging is more of a chore.  By time I get home it is 7:30-8 and all I want to do is eat, watch my trashy British TV and go to sleep.  I sorta feel like I am losing it.  I started a new job 4 weeks ago and it is office based.  I haven't had an office based job for while so this is new to me (along with an epic commute everyday).  I leave my house at 6:45am to get into work at 8:15, I leave at 5:30-6 and I'm not home until usually 7:30-8.  Plus with the underground issues and the Olympics, my hatred for public transport is increasing more and more each day.

It bothers me that it is starting to become a chore.  To be frank, there are days I don't want to blog but it never felt like a chore.  My blog started as just a place to give updates about my life in London but it quickly changed into my little space to share what I love, fashion and interior design.  This little blog has has helped me to realize what I would like to do but now I need to decide how I am going to do it.   What I actually do vs. what I want to do are completely opposite.  My husband and I have had a few longs talks about it and he thinks I should go for it.  I love that he is so supportive and optimistic about it because I am not.  I worry about the financials, failure and all the uncertainties of it.  I started to get the ball rolling but about a month ago I just stopped.  Not sure exactly why but it could be because I'M SCARED and quitting is just easier.  But that is not like me at all.  I'm frustrated with myself.  I'm not sure why I am telling you all this.  Maybe I just need to get it off my chest.  Anyways, that is how I feel today maybe tomorrow I will find the courage to take the big leap.

This post is kinda all over the place.  Sorry it is just one of those days.  Tomorrow I will be back with my usual sarcasm...promise.

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